Assignment | Lesson Two | Stewardship as Spiritual Practice

Caitlin Mason

Reflection for Week #2

I was fascinated by the Carroll piece that invoked the use of Enneagram. As a 1 on the enneagram, the idea of blocking giving “out of fear of not loving right” as well as receiving giving being “blocked by fear of judging how another person extends love” to me was spot on. I had never thought about these things in the context of stewardship; particularly as I am currently discerning my call and thinking about where to use my gifts. Fear and mistrust of God’s abundance often motivates me to action which has cyclically led to patterns that lead to the same frustrating outcome. By utilizing practices of contemplation, Carrol points out that one can achieve the “Buddha mind,” in turn, believing in God’s abundance.

I have found that this pattern is often a knee jerk reaction tied to my fear of not having enough money. Coming from a divorced family, I often witnessed my single mother getting financial help from her parents for basic needs. I became independent and relied on my own finances at a very early age knowing that I never wanted to be dependent on someone else to meet my needs—not very reflective of God’s economy, nor what is depicted in Acts 2 reading for the week! I found Carroll’s piece to be applicable to stewardship of finances, but also stewardship of other gifts God has blessed me with.

If being contemplative is truly “throwing off” what keeps us from seeing as mentioned in the Nouwen article, my prayer for myself and my community, would be to have continued awareness of how my past wounds—or wounds of my ancestors as in the Hokama article—may influence my decisions around how I use my time and money.

Caitlin Mason

Reflection for Week #2

I was fascinated by the Carroll piece that invoked the use of Enneagram. As a 1 on the enneagram, the idea of blocking giving “out of fear of not loving right” as well as receiving giving being “blocked by fear of judging how another person extends love” to me was spot on. I had never thought about these things in the context of stewardship; particularly as I am currently discerning my call and thinking about where to use my gifts. Fear and mistrust of God’s abundance often motivates me to action which has cyclically led to patterns that lead to the same frustrating outcome. By utilizing practices of contemplation, Carrol points out that one can achieve the “Buddha mind,” in turn, believing in God’s abundance.

I have found that this pattern is often a knee jerk reaction tied to my fear of not having enough money. Coming from a divorced family, I often witnessed my single mother getting financial help from her parents for basic needs. I became independent and relied on my own finances at a very early age knowing that I never wanted to be dependent on someone else to meet my needs—not very reflective of God’s economy, nor what is depicted in Acts 2 reading for the week! I found Carroll’s piece to be applicable to stewardship of finances, but also stewardship of other gifts God has blessed me with.

If being contemplative is truly “throwing off” what keeps us from seeing as mentioned in the Nouwen article, my prayer for myself and my community, would be to have continued awareness of how my past wounds—or wounds of my ancestors as in the Hokama article—may influence my decisions around how I use my time and money.

This has been a very thought provoking week. The shift to an intentional focus on God’s abundance as opposed to the scarcity around me has been somewhat consuming. At work, my focus often is on what we need as opposed to what we have.

The household I grew up in, money was used as a source of control. Both my parents grew up very poor, however, my father received an education allowing him to earn, comparatively, a nice income. Yet the attitude/view was still from a place of scarcity. My father allotted money only if certain conditions and behaviors were met. After my parents divorced, the conditions became even stricter. I noticed as a young child that there was plenty, but we couldn’t access or use it. I realize that in several areas of my personal life, I still live in this manner, yet I am more generous with my employees in how budgeted money is spent. 

For the most part, my job at the Gwinwood Retreat Center centers around money- raising it, managing it and spending it. I am grateful that the Board of Trustees I am accountable to is people-focused and that the largest part of our budget is paying our people well and justly. Looking at Operations, however, if the focus shifted back into our mission of Retreat, Renewal and Restoration, our Hospitality and Maintenance budgets would need to be increased, to focus more on our guests… who are actually our reasons of service. 

Next month, I will begin working on our 2027 budget. I have a ritual of walking the Gwinwood grounds in the morning and am looking forward to a new way of seeing/being- a “peeling off” of the blindfolds- to God’s presence and abundance as I look to this upcoming year.

I am grateful to have grown up with a deep sense of generosity in my family tree. Last year I learned that my maternal grandfather's mother (my great-grandmother) would try to always have a pot of soup ‘on’ for the many ‘train hoppers’ who would ride the rails during the depression and disembark at the end of the line near her home in south Florida. My Papa grew up seeing that even in hard times, sharing with others is a blessing. He became financially successful and I saw his generosity in making sure the people around him had sufficient means to meet their needs as well as his generous giving to the educational and humanitarian organizations he cared about. 

My mother has never had much money - she raised five kids as a single mom with little financial support. But she has always been generous with what she had - mostly time, expertise, care, and love. She has been a mentor for many youth, supported countless families as they raised children, and served in numerous roles in her church and wider community. Her small amount of resources have bloomed and multiplied around her.

I’m not sure any of them would call (or would have called) themselves contemplatives, but it seems as though they did have practice ‘throwing off the scales’ that prevented them from seeing certain truths. They have all been far less interested in competition, rivalry or violence and far more oriented toward the understanding that ‘we are what we have received.’ In speaking with my mom she talks about freely sharing all that she has because she is so grateful to have received it in the first place; and because she knows that goodness continues to flow toward her, no matter how much she gives away. 

I’m a grateful recipient of this beautiful tradition and I hope that through my actions and teachings my own children will continue the ancestral practice of gratitude and giving, of seeing and taking action.

I really enjoyed the lesson this week. Stewardship is such a tough subject sometimes, but this work this week has made me realize that we can make it easier with some work first. I don’t know that I would have ever considered using any type of contemplative practice to approach stewardship, but now that I am framing it from knowing that I’m operating from a world view of scarcity and that I can change that, using a practice to deepen my sense of self in these ways will help me give in the ways that I actually truly want to give and the way that Jesus asked me to give.

I wish that I had a true sense and understanding of my ancestral roots of stewardship. I was raised by a single mother who had four of us, and my father did not believe in paying child support. We moved in with my grandfather, who was well off, and while I know that he was helping to provide for us, it was something that we never talked about. We lived in an affluent neighborhood near Pasadena, and I was surrounded by tremendous wealth, but that was not how we lived ourselves. And while my mom was struggling to pay for our necessities and not take money from her father, I could always feel the strain and burden of that, but at the same time, things always managed to work themselves out. As a single mother myself, who is in a similar situation as my own mother was, I am on this side of it now, and still, God provides. This year, I made the choice to put my faith into what has been given to me and have been increasing my offerings and gifts because I know that it is needed. And while I struggle to make ends meet most months, there is always a way. I guess that was passed down to me through actions, and my belief that God provides comes from that.

After this lesson, I think it would be helpful for me to take a look at our church’s budget and talk with our stewardship committee about it. I think that reframing our minds to where the money goes would actually help with giving and not hinder it. I know that there is always great concern to keep our doors open and the lights on, and to save for when we need a new roof, but are we being good stewards of our gifts in the best ways possible? I’m unsure.

I've been thinking a lot about money in the church recently, partly because of this year's capital campaign to support ongoing needs in our ministry. Some of that was "nuts and bolts" stuf like HVAC, paint, windows, but our pastor placed real emphasis on the life-giving, mission-oriented, community-oriented outcomes the campaign could fund, not just the functional. I think it's the same instinct behind "budgets are theological documents", and we should only really do the "functional stuff" if it supports the mission.

The Nouwen piece names two illusions: that we can know ourselves through comparison to others, and that we can define God's will for us. The first shows up for me as worrying whether we're doing "enough" relative to other individuals/families/churches. The second speaks to a hubris that we might have to define who and which causes are "worthy" of our support.

I grew up upper-middle-class, but the messaging at home was still scarcity: save, cut costs, be practical. I recognize that instinct in myself now when it comes to giving or spending, church or otherwise. Hokama's piece reminded me of the truth that we actually have enough. The reading from Acts is an example of this, the apostles would sell everything because they knew they were going to be okay, and that confidence is not the place most of us operate from on a daily basis.

So back to our congregation's endowment. Like a lot of churches, we're sitting on a healthy endowment that earlier generations set aside, and there's real hesitancy to draw on it; nobody wants to be seen as the board that spent down what our ancestors saved. But I also wonder, why are we holding onto assets and resources as our congregations age, simply out of a sense of responsibility to those who came before us, especially when there are very pressing needs in the community right now?

I don't think the answer is to spend it all down. But perhaps one solution is to practice an attitude of abundance by specifying that a percentage of the endowment be spent for a certain number of years, on specific community needs. This might help grow that "abundance" muscle for our congregations that are sometimes tied to an institutional security. 

DSF CAW Wk 2

August 15th, 2026

Erin Aylor

Contemplative practice changes how I think about money in that it brings the Owner of the money back to the center of the thought…and not only the Owner but His plan.  I have always said, “God owns it all.” Not just our bank accounts but our home, our vehicles, our education we’ve worked and paid for. Everything.  Before reading the article on the wisdomandmoney.org website, I took some time to look at how they assist folks in clarifying their thoughts about finances (Lectio Devina, Contemplative Prayer, 1-on-1 support).  There are multiple actions and strategies that we can use in a layered fashion to work through any stronghold against our relationship with Christ. 

In regards to ancestral beliefs, paying cash/paying up front is something that has been important to our family.  My Meme and Papaw never bought a car on credit. Most of our vehicles over 32 years of marriage have been paid for at the time of purchase or within 1 year.  My dad instilled a strong sense of tithing what is the Lord’s right back to Him.  I have a sign in our living room that says, “Live Generously,” and that’s not only with money but with sharing what we’ve been graciously given by working means over the years: giving away garden vegetables, vehicles loaned out, people needing a place to stay in an extra bedroom, loaning out a big dump trailer to a friend last week to avoid a $400 rental, etc. How we navigate life with things is part of our witness of the goodness of God.

I shared earlier, but a concern I have for our little historic church is that we don’t really have a mission and vision that has been crafted, enunciated, and communicated. However, I have seen so much growth of giving since I was at this church ~5 years ago vs coming back in November of 2025.  Two members who passed away a decade ago both left large sums of money to the church. The church uses that money’s interest to function off of for a significant part of the budget.  Even though we average 12-22 people on an average Sunday, there is not a scarcity mentality but one of generosity.  Thom Ranier is the author of Scrappy Church and Autopsy of a Deceased Church. (Side note: I love his books and find them SO helpful!) Even though our numbers look small and we do appear dying, we have not turned into “preservation mode” that he speaks about…cutting out missions and helping the community to stay afloat. We are still generous and strongly mission-minded money-wise even as our numbers dwindle people-wise.  A few examples: $2500 Food 4 Kids (food pantry feeding kids over summer break), $3500 commercial fridge for Neighbor’s Table food pantry, $2500 Christmas gifts for kids in foster care in Pope County, etc. May God help us not to die in the next 5 years but to remain open to love others and share His goodness and salvation.