Assignment | What Ought to be Going On? | Reflective Question

FORUM TEST

test 2

For my context, I believe what ought to be going on is the church could be intervening in many ways such as: group bible study where everyone learns about the bible and what it has to say about communication. Dealing with or managing the fear people are feeling when communication is tough, and abrupt.  I also think that many people in the church have been hurt or gotten their feelings hurt when communicating, when we are called to love thy neighbor.  There are some in our church community that have suffered from loss and would be willing to speak about how they are dealing with their feelings and emotions and maybe adding a support group or host a training on loss & grief could be helpful, so our community can learn how they make it from day to day. I also believe what ought to be happening is learning how to forgive. Forgiveness is powerful and learning how to forgive has also been a blessing to me. It has not been easy because one never forgets the things that has happen, and to forgive is not just because we want to let people off the hook, it is actually freeing for the soul.

I believe that God is saying to me, I AM GOD. Reminding me that God can do all things according to his work. I must continue to trust Him and know that God is God all by Himself.  Also, I need to continue to share with my community who God is and what His word says and what He has done for me around loss, grief, suffering and care. God also reminds us that we have to have patience and not to judge. Just because I feel that we need to be in a better place, I can't put my feeling off on anyone else or others. I believe that God is speaking to all of our congregation members, and they will acknowledge what is happening if they are asked but not to be forceful about it. God tells me that He is LOVE and He is Kind, so I must continue to spread the love and joy that He has given me.

Pastoral Care Paper What Ought to Be going On?  Reflection Question

Joyce M Guy

     What Ought to be going on is a powerful assessment question. If I had been asked this a couple of weeks ago I would have given a very selfish answer.  Now that I have learned what should be happening can evaluate from different lenses whether I did anything right.

     In my case of betrayal Biblically Ephesian 4:32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, God in Christ forgave you. This is easier said than done.  As I am now coming to understand that the focus should never be about me, but to look at the person.  One thing I did was take her outside of the office to lunch. We were able to talk freely about what was going on in her life.  Even though I knew the person for years I made horrible assumptions about them.

     As I knew she was a believer from another country, I should have investigated the depth of her beliefs and cultural bias.   I should have been more sensitive to all the factors in her life at this time.  Her mental, physical and family dynamics included.  As a minister. I should have been approaching this from what we now understand to be multiculturalism view. I feel that God would have told me to” Be still and quite know that I am God”, let her tell her story.   My community did what they always do and say,” Just Pray About It” the famous go to when   you don’t have an answer.  Some of the black churches teach us that if we don’t take charge of the situation, it is because we don’t have spiritual power. In pastoral care this cannot work.  We need what are called Godly boundaries so we can gain other people’s trust. 

The multicultural lens uncovers the deeper understanding for my context. I was raised in a ethnically white household but reunified to my indigenous biology as an adult so sometimes I feel lile there is a lot of catch-up going on but that's always the insecurities of an adversarial mind. I attempted to enter the room humbly and open the leadership to whoever in the family wanted to claim that, but no one did. If I had opened my arms even wider and started the interaction with introductions and prayer then asked the question where can I be of most help the unfolding of order would have occurred more naturally. In the instance where the Deacon's nephew asked me ...If all that food was for me... I should have been clear and said exactly what it was for and who it was for deferring to his authority over the resource he was distributing for his 'Ohana (family). A lifetime of learned behaviors imprinted by a white privilege mentality does require an equal amount of time to rewire and retrain what has been previously established. But the humility that comes with examination over ones own lessons are also those great seeds of the heart that grow into lifelong behavioral enhancement of the fruits that the Lord Jesus expects from all of us. I missed the opportunity to create and foster a relationship for the church and the family of God but steered my wa'a (canoe) into rough sea waters, and I wasn't even aware that I was doing it until the reflection period afterwards. That being said about this context, there is an even deeper layer buried underneath the surface. The care of the church. The truth of the matter is that because the Hawaiian churches hold a sour historical note for the missionary participation of the Kingdom's overthrow many Hawaiian people left the congregational church and found faith elsewhere. But the Hawaiian churches are the original places of worship for Jesus built within the islands and a small handful of Kanaka Maoli and Kama'aina keep them open. Funerals are the only times when many of the offspring of the Kupunas that helped open the doors only come at that time and then aren't seen again until another family death occurs. They come, they cry, they eat and then they leave. And much like the childhood book the giving tree the sanctuary of the Lord is only approached at important life milestones instead of regularly be it weekly or daily. This is the shame that comes on the church's side for the overly legalized dogma that shadows grace and for the secular mind that observers that same dogma and avoids or abandons the faith in God because of how it is presented. Meanwhile the roof needs repair, the pulpits are empty and the pews collect dust. Instead of burning down the ancient temple the walls break by the drought of faith. And for all of that...may we take comfort in the fact that faith does not need a investment fund or money market account to fix the roof or fill the sanctuary. His promise and aloha are always going to be greater than one one mind can comprehend...the only mind that could was that of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Week three:  What ought to be going on? 

    Well, when we continue on with how to proceed working to retain our church youth, there are clearly things that often make us feel helpless.  But if our focus and determination are on God’s purpose, He will shepherd us through.  God works in mysterious ways, but He is never absent.  With conviction, we still have much at our hands to keep us working towards His purposes.  It is our faith which keeps us at the helm, knowing God is in control.  I reference our reading in Tricia Hersey’s book “Rest is Resistance”. 

    What ought to be going on?  Well, first I would like to say that working with others is always a challenge in any context.  When we speak of being a caregiver, our purpose and goal is to provide support.  Dr Davis, in his lecture, noted that our caregiving role is to accompany and walk alongside, not lead the way.  We read of many concerns in various areas of caregiving that one must understand and take seriously: how to be cautious, attentive, and proactive, as well as reactive, prepares us to properly support those in need of theological caregiving.

We are reminded this week that we are all part of the same body in One Faith, One God, and one Baptism.  We must use our preparation to continue to share and maintain God’s main purpose: life abundant and life everlasting.

    What ought to be going on?  Praying, worshipping, learning, and working together to achieve God’s purposes collectively.  This begins and fulfills itself in unity and growth.     

What Ought To Be Going On?

The church was without an authorized minister. I, as President/Moderator, and the deacon tried to counsel the other deacon regarding his demeanor at one of our congregational meetings. I sat directly across from him and his advisor, our former pastor, who resigned her ministry and church membership. It was she who wanted this person to be the next minister of the church. I have mentioned to him all the things he was doing wrong, from theft, trying to get out of paying taxes, to impersonating an authorized minister, including baptisms and marrying people, including his family. All the while, without saying a word, he couldn't rebut. Now, from this course, I understand the power dynamics. It was hard for me, not being trained in this type of counseling. He did not make amends or repent. His supporter, because of her age and health, moved to another island.  I had no recourse but to leave everything in my Lord's hands, as I have done so many times before. Many times, I'm in the churchyard doing yard work; people stop by, tell me their stories, and often encourage and uplift me in my ministry. I know Iʻm not alone when the Lord sends them to me. After COVID-19, the Lord cleaned house, and I had a spiritual awakening. A couple of our members passed away, and so many moved away or stopped coming back to church. Now, the church is on a rebound, with worship, learning through the scriptures and sermons, and praying to our Lord our God. God is back in our church, with increasing numbers of new members and worshipers, through spiritual care and working together to achieve God's purposes. We are at a new beginning, being reborn again with theological accountability in Christ. Amen.

Frank Mulec

I wrote almost 1000 words in my initial response to this week's prompt. Don't worry, I'm putting a shortened summary here, which is still kind of long and contains no answers. :) I am so grateful to have time, community, and shared wisdom to consider these challenges of care.

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In considering “what ought to be going on” regarding the loss of young people in my church congregation, I was particularly impacted by the methodology of counterstorytelling and by Dr. Davis’ assertion that “God is on the side of flourishing. The spirit moves toward freedom and wholeness.” (video, 9:47) In considering how God might be acting in this situation and what God may be calling us to do, I kept returning to this idea of flourishing, freedom, and wholeness, and what this might look like for young people as they make decisions about the role of faith and faith communities in their lives.

First, I think our congregation and leaders must more broadly consider what caring community looks and feels like to the youth in our community, rather than centering nostalgia or our (adult, mostly white and middle class) ideas about what Christian Community is. To do this, we need to more carefully and explicitly listen to the voices and ideas of the young adults who are still involved at our church and seek out the stories of those who have stepped away or who we may never have connected with. Our pre-covid youth group was more racially diverse, and I think more heavily LGBTQ+ than our congregation as a whole. The counterstorytelling framework and methodology might help us more fully understand their experiences, their interpretations, and their dreams.

Perhaps most tied to the theme of this course, our church may need to develop a more expansive understanding of and tools to support pastoral care for people of all ages while remaining alert to safety and awareness of power dynamics. When we had a large youth group, we did a pretty good job creating a social space for young people and also involving them in service and justice work in the community. I think we did not attend enough to pastoral care, in part due to (important and necessary) safety protocols that ended up making some of our structures of pastoral care inaccessible to people under 18. I don’t yet have a workable idea, but I think it is a critically important to take up the issue of effective, co-created pastoral care for young people if we are to be a faith community who lives out the call to love and welcome all people as beloved children of God worthy of being listened to and also of both giving and receiving care.

Disclaimer: This was challenging to get into 250-300 words! I'm touching almost 400. 

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I really enjoyed this week's readings. They challenged me to consider how my own lived experiences have shaped how I show up as a caregiver. As a Caribbean American woman, eldest daughter, nonprofit leader, educator, ministry leader, and Certified Wellness Coach, I carry multiple perspectives into my church community. 

Cho’s discussion of intersectionality and counterstorytelling reminded me that pastoral care must make room for stories to be told and understood from that individual’s perspective. Back in the day I learned about “empathy interviews,” where the interviewee gets the mic for most of the conversation, just to share their full experience. In my church's context, this means looking beyond the observations I see, such as loud sound levels or mothers seeking private spaces to nurse. We also need to consider who these individuals are, how their lived experiences have shaped their needs, and whether they feel safe sharing their stories. Our systems should create consistent and accessible opportunities for members to express their needs without fear of judgment or shame. As a disclaimer, I am not claiming that our systems make room for judgment or shame. I am simply elevating "Is there more we can be doing to advance what our practices of care look like?"

Doehring’s discussion of dual roles also resonated with me because I wear multiple hats that influence how I understand care. I also thought it was a necessary point for Doehring to call out how, as caregivers, we must be attentive to our boundaries and self-care to avoid our own mental exhaustion. Moreover, integrating our faith practices and the "ministry of presence" is equally important. I believe God meets us in our pain and wants us to be well. Our care should reflect that love through meaningful and safe listening and empathy.

In conclusion, what ought to be happening is a church culture that cares for the whole person, out loud. Our norms and systems need to be known by all, not just some. Additionally, we should regularly examine our practices, elevate members’ stories, and make space for both shared and unique needs - pushing the status quo on our church pillar "Belong". We must increase how we recognize what belonging looks like individually for our members, as well as embed these foundational needs to help every member feel heard, understood, and supported in a way that is meaningful to them.

Wk. 3 - What Ought to Be Going On?

Looking at my church, where most of us are between 35 and 80+ and young adults are nowhere to be found. I ask myself, “What does God actually wants for us?”. I think God would say that a real church family shouldn't leave anyone behind, nor should it leave anyone out. God didn’t design the Church to be an empty nest or a closed club. In Psalm 145, we’re reminded that one generation is supposed to pass faith down to the next. When a whole age group is missing, our spiritual family is incomplete.

 As a Christian community, what “ought” to be happening is simple; genuine love, safety, and real connection. First, we need to take proper care of the older members right in front of us. Just like Sally Brown in the reading, we must look out for isolated elders, respect their boundaries, and make sure they’re safe, even if that means asking hard questions or bringing in extra help. Caring means being responsible, trustworthy, and honest about our own limits. Taking time to look in the mirror by asking ourselves some hard questions; Am I rested enough to have a clear perspective on this topic? Do I have a bias about this? Have I been keeping up with my spiritual practices enough to understand what’s really needed?

Second, we need to open our doors wider. Like Eunil Cho reminds us, it’s easy to get comfortable with our own habits and ignore the voices that aren't being heard. What “ought” to happen is that we make room for young people’s actual stories and experiences, instead of expecting them to just fit into our old routines.

The intervention we need isn't complicated. It starts with us being proactive by checking on our homebound seniors safely and responsibly, while actively inviting younger people to help guide our church’s future. When we protect the vulnerable, listen deeply, and share leadership across generations, we finally look like the caring, complete family God called us to be.